If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Randomize
