do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
