the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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