I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Randomize
