8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
