And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
