ya dads aren't the best wingmen
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
