he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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