he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
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