Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Randomize
