2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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