I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
