So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
