My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
is it fun? or sober?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
