....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
