Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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