It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
