hell yes lets make some ravioli
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
