I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
