I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
