Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
