Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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