I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
