About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
