So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I want her autograph on my taint
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Randomize
