margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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