just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
A bitchslap is in order.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
