pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
The uberlube is also flammable
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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