your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
