Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
