used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
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