When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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