Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
