i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize