jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
