so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
