ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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