I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
