dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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