I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
