he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
