The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Randomize