dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
