I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
