hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Blood and glitter go together right?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
