I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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