Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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