Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
