Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
He has the fingertips of a God
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