Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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