i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
