No stitches, just platelets and will power
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
the liver wants what the liver wants
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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