I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
