Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Randomize
