dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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