So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
