I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
