I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
