i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
