...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
