You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize