You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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