: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
