My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Only a mothe r could love this liver
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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