i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
