Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
