a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
