I got chris browned last night
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
