I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
